Tag Archives: attitude

Four Ways Millennials Can Be Happier Right This Minute

23 Jun

happy-happiness-millennials

So tell me, are you happy?

Like, honestly… happy?

Do you even know what happiness is, really?

Or are you like most of us… stressed out all the time?

Do you spend hours in your room crying because life isn’t working out the way you thought it would?

Because if the answer is yes, I’m going to tell you right now…you gotta stop doing that.

Our twenties are a mess.

A legit freaking mess.

We’re constantly stressed out and confused and don’t really know what to do with our lives.

Then, the real-world welcomes us with an even bigger slap in the face.

We’re suddenly wearing five different hats…

We’re suddenly juggling 700,000 responsibilities at once…

Of course, it’s stressful.

And it sucks.

Big time.

Mostly because we’ve been taught our whole lives that things are supposed to get better as time goes by.

Not worse.

The older we get… the happier we become. So we’ve been told.

Because, you know… when we get older, we graduate college and we get awesome jobs and we get married and we have the cutest kids and everything is wonderful.

That’s the story we’ve told since before we can remember.

But the truth is this…

We don’t just somehow get happier.

We don’t just wake up one day and feel happier.

It doesn’t happen like that.

Happiness isn’t a given.

It takes work.

It takes time.

And most importantly, it takes some serious self-reflection.

So in the meantime, while you’re figuring out what makes you happy and what doesn’t, here are a few things we can all do to make our lives a little bit better…

To make things a little more bearable…

Because we really can be happier.

Right. This. Very. Minute.

And I refuse to accept anything other than that.

1. Stop living in the future  

Today isn’t tomorrow. Today isn’t five years from now. Today is today, so enjoy it. Sure, we should all have dreams, but we need to make an effort to stop living our lives completely in the future. We spend so much time thinking about and planning for the future that we often miss out on so much of the present. Focus on what’s in front of you. It’ll be gone before you know it.

2. Stop buying so much stuff

Money lets you buy things. And sure, things are great. But you know what’s even better? People. Relationships. Experiences. Stop spending so much money on things that’ll end up in the trash next year. You know you don’t need half the things you have in your closet. Instead, save money. Give yourself that peace of mind. Instead, use that money to visit your family. Use that money to travel. But infinite amounts of clothes and shoes and electronics? Such a waste.

3. Stop seeking everyone’s approval

You can’t get everyone to like you. There. End of story. Now stop trying to please everyone. Do things for yourself. I promise you, it’s probably the best thing you can do right now if you ever want to live a happy life.

4. Stop second guessing yourself all the time

Ugh. Should I? Shouldn’t I? But… what if…all these questions ultimately lead to inaction. Listen to your gut. Learn to trust your intuition. If you want to do something, do it. Because if you second guess every move you want to make, you’ll never go anywhere, and how absolutely lame would that be?

Other stuff you might like:

 

Advertisements

Millennials: Don’t Be Afraid to Operate Solo

19 Dec

blogger-image-1811364819

I think we’ve finally accepted it: being in your twenties can be slightly lonely. Lone-ranger status… a lot. I used to be one of those people who needed to be around 50 other people in order to feel happy. But as I’ve grown, I’ve come to absolutely LOVE the time I spend alone. Because we need it- for our sanity. And I also feel super-cool when I can get things done on my own. Today’s guest post from Jessica is perfect, reminding us that there’s nothing wrong with operating solo. Enjoy!

*****************************************************************************************

What they don’t tell you about your twenties – the decade of late nights, traveling, reconnecting with high school friends and indulging in happy hours – is that it can get lonely.

Maybe you’re moved into your first apartment without roommates, or you’ve felt a creeping sense of self-consciousness at weddings and baby showers. Perhaps you’re newly single and feeling like you’re waiting at a stand-still, trying to navigate “real life” after college whilst friends are scoring awesome industry jobs and packing up for a new city. Regardless of the scenario, you’re beginning to realize that not all relationships – romantic or platonic, The Notebook-esque or General Hospital-worthy – will last forever, and that’s okay.

Because you have yourself to keep you company. And if you’re introverted, maybe that’s something you understood back in middle school the summer after your peers returned in September, extra mean and extra pimply. If you’re extroverted, maybe it’s something you’re only just coming to terms with now.

Learning to be comfortable with yourself and your thoughts is an understated and yet highly important skill. Knowing how to relish in “me time” is a serious benefit to your emotional and physical health. Relationships complicate and convolute your inward perspective, but being alone will teach you who you are and what you want; what gets you off and what makes you tick; what breaches your tolerance level and what fuels your passion. Introducing yourself to solo situations now will only help you to thrive in these environments as they crop up more frequently in the future.

Take Care of Yourself

Sure, you learned how to do a load of wash, use the elliptical and prepare a meal that wasn’t purchased in the frozen food section while in college. But did you ever try exercising without a gym or jogging buddy? In your 20’s, you should warm up to the idea of attending a class, taking a walk, or just hitting the gym without a friend, and create a workout routine that doesn’t require the coordination of two schedules. You should also stock your kitchen with all the basic essentials – cookware sets like these from Belgique are super affordable – and get into the habit of preparing a fancy-pants dinner for one. Bonus points if you eat it without the TV on. Every so often, don’t be afraid to venture out on your own to get your nails or hair done, and chat with your beautician instead of asking a friend to tag along.

Travel and Explore

Learn how to hail a cab, and take a train or public transportation on your own after mapping out your destination. Take a solo day trip somewhere. Hop in your car, or rent a Zip Car for the day, and drive out to some location or attraction a few hours from home, and spend the afternoon adventuring and sight-seeing. Take lots of selfies and just be present in the moment, taking in all of the new sights and sounds around you. One day, you may even have the guts to take a vacation alone with just me, myself, and I. Sound intimidating? Thousands of people do it every year, whether “it” means backpacking through South Asia, touring around with a group, or taking off for a few days to grab a tan and engage with the locals.

Socialize

Going out without a designated buddy doesn’t mean maintaining your solitude. If loneliness is what we’re trying to combat, then optimize every opportunity to go out and meet new friends and networks of people – just don’t be afraid to venture out alone initially. Attend a networking event or conference, or an introductory class just for kicks. It can be yoga, pottery, HTML coding, resume building, beer brewing; whatever floats your boat. And if you get asked to a party where you only know the person who invited you, go anyway! Tough it out for a few hours, or at least until everyone has warmed up with liquor, and see if you can’t have a good time with a new crowd.

Go to a movie. Make it a matinee, though, so you can prop your feet up on the chair in front of you and rattle your candy and slurp your Coke as loudly as possible. Accompany yourself to happy hour: dress cute, and bring a book or watch whatever game is playing. The sooner you become comfortable and embrace the ability to go out single, the more you will be able to experience when work, family, and conflicting schedules get in the way of plans.

Nights spent on the couch watching Netflix are comfortably easy, but too many of them will make you resentful and lonely. It’s important to get comfortable with yourself sans distractions in your twenties to help build confidence and develop self-awareness and efficiency. Don’t miss out on life because you’re afraid of operating solo – as you get older, you’ll be spending more and more time alone, and that can be a wonderful thing.

Jessica Herbine is a twenty-something PR and Marketing professional working in Philadelphia. She loves to read, write, attend theater performances, rock concerts, and go out for dinner and drinks. Find her on Twitter at @jessherbs, and follow her blog at http://www.100wpm.wordpress.com!

Other stuff you might like:

Being Human in the Workplace: Why It’s Okay To Tell People You Ripped Your Pants

15 May

8737527140_4b6b586af8_o

I have a big problem with the workplace. Well, I have A LOT of problems with the workplace, actually, but this happens to be rather high on my list.

I guess I’m sort of a creeper, to a certain extent, because I observe people all the time. That’s my thing.

I watch and I listen and I realize how ridiculously crazy people are most of the time while they’re at work.

A lot of people tend to feel that they need to put on some kind of front while at work…they can’t be themselves. Instead, they have to be perfect. ALWAYS.

So they put on their suits and they cary their briefcases and they walk from meeting to meeting, focusing on numbers and on the latest budget reports. They’re serious all the time. They can’t laugh, they can’t joke. Because that would make them unprofessional.

Now, I get that people have to work. I also understand that we have to focus on numbers and on budgets and reports.

But in doing so, we can’t forget there’s also a human side to work. Work isn’t just numbers. Work isn’t just reports. Work isn’t just about the bottom line.

Work is also about human relationships. Work is about BUILDING those human relationships.

Because without those relationships, work is not possible.

It’s okay to show that human side of yourself while you’re at work. It’s okay to have a personality. It’s okay to be nice to people.

We’re not robots.

And honestly, I’ve found that when you share that human side of yourself with others, people are more receptive towards you. People like you more because you’re honest. You’re silly. You’re NOT perfect. You’re just like everyone else. You’re human.

A little crazy. A little messed up. A little not-so-put-together.

So don’t be afraid to open up every once in a while.

For example, I was running into work not too long ago wearing my not-so-hemmed pants which I have to wear my 5 inch heels with. And so I decide to take the elevator to prevent myself from falling flat on my face. So what happened?  I got off the elevator, took 4 steps, my heel got stuck in a crack on the floor, and I fell. On my face. The best part was…I didn’t just fall, I also ripped my pants. Big time.

So I got up, continued walking to my office, and when people greeted me with the usual, “Good Morning! How are you?” my response to them was NOT, “Fine, thanks.”

Instead, it was more like “Wonderful, thanks, I ripped my pants! Isn’t that great?”

And you know what?  People didn’t look at me and scold me for being honest. Instead, they laughed and some of them even shared with me their own embarrassing stories.

So my point is, don’t be the kind of person at work who has the personality of a tree. Be true to who you are, don’t put on a front, and you’ll be much more likely to build those human relationships which are essential to career success.

PLUS… you’ll be wayyyy cooler in my book.

Small Changes = Big Results

5 Feb

Change 3

Last week I had a HUGE dilemma. Really, it was catastrophic.

It was the weekend, I had somewhere to be for the first time in forever, and I HAD NOTHING TO WEAR.

Before I continue, please let me say that this is not a post about fashion.

It’s not about clothes, nor is it a story pertaining to any of my previous shopping trips to the mall.

You’re welcome. Now, I’ll continue.

So how could I fix this? Without even thinking much, the solution was pretty obvious to me.

Clearly, I needed to go shopping ASAP and spend all my money on a new wardrobe.

Genius!

But then I stared at my closet for a good fifteen minutes. I mean I just stood there and stared at it.

Here, this is my closet…

2013-02-04 19.49.33

I know, it’s a disaster. I’ll get around to organizing it this weekend. Promise.

But here’s the deal…You see that piece of white wall to the left? Well, behind that wall is a continuation of my closet. The problem, however, is that when I stand in front of my closet and try to decide what to wear, I can’t see anything that’s behind that wall, all the way to the left. So what happens? The clothes that’s all the way to the left of my closet…I forget that it exists.

And then I cry because I have nothing to wear.

So here’s what I did…

I shuffled my closet around and shifted the stuff that was all the way to the left, right to the smack center of my closet. And after doing so, I had a brand spankin’ new wardrobe.

Oh…and I spent no money.

Success!

Now I’m sure some of you are reading this and thinking um…okay…so she rearranged her closet…so what?

So why do I think this is important enough to write about?

Because it was a small change that made a HUGE difference.

It seems that these days, young people in particular, whenever we’re faced with a dilemma, we tend gravitate towards brash solutions.

We hate our jobs? We quit.

We feel that our life is devoid of meaning? We pack our bags and take a 7 month trip to Europe…all expenses paid by our student loans that will end up consuming our entire adult life leaving us broke forever.

Now yes, granted, sometimes drastic measures need to be taken. That’s fine.

But more often than not, we just need to relax, take a deep breath, and see things differently.

The solutions to our problems are not always great, giant, life-changing events.

I once read in an article somewhere that just a tiny change in your daily routine can impact your mood dramatically.

So listen, tomorrow…when you wake up hating life because you’ve got to go to that job that’s terrible… take a different route. Drive with the windows down. Decorate your office. Buy a plant and put in your office. Read a book during your lunch break. Go take a walk during your lunch break. Have a 30 second dance party. You might just see that it helps a bit.

But maybe your job REALLY sucks. Maybe you really DO need to quit. Do you really need to quit right away? How about you try making small changes leading up to that? Be smart about it. Don’t just get angry one day and throw in the towel. Figure out what else you can do. Figure out what else you WANT to do. Network. Work on a project on the side. Cultivate a new skill. But do all those things while you have a job.

Because a huge change, a big change…that might not be the best kind of change at all.

You’re feeling that you’re lacking purpose in your life and suddenly feel the urge to take off for a year and travel around the world like a nomad?

That’s cool. But is that the only thing that you can do that will give you that sense of purpose and adventure? Can you maybe make it a point to travel on the weekends? Can you join a club of some sort? Can you find an organization to volunteer at? Can you take up photography? Can you learn a new language?

You see…that problem you have…there may be more than one solution.

You just need a different perspective. You need to see it differently. So change the way you see things.

Change 1

Being Overwhelmed Isn’t All That Bad

18 Dec

Canvas

I’m having a panic attack. Pretty sure that’s what this is.

I have a headache, I can’t focus, and I’m about seconds away from throwing my cat against the wall because he keeps climbing all over my keyboard as I type.

God, that’s annoying.

But anyway, I’ve got a lot on my mind.

I haven’t finished Christmas shopping. I have a meeting on Wednesday that I kind of need to be prepared for.

And oh, I’m leaving to North Carolina in less than 9 days.

SO. MUCH. TO. DO.

I nearly cringe when I see how long it’s been since I last wrote.

I’ve just been so busy with new ideas, new projects, finishing the semester at school, dealing with work, going to CrossFit, finding time to read all these books I keep ordering and when I really need some down-time, catching up on Justified with the man-friend.

People laugh at me all the time when I tell them about a new project I’m working on or some new venture I’m exploring.

They always ask me, “Don’t you think you’re going to be a bit overwhelmed by all that?”

Well, yea. I definitely will be.

But I love every second of it.

I love having a million things to do.

When I don’t have anything to do, I slip into some sort of mild weird depression thing where I contemplate my existence and cry to hipster music while snuggling with my cat.

Okay, it’s not THAT bad.

But still, I don’t like having NOTHING to do.

There’s nothing that makes me happier than trying new things and taking on new projects. Reading new books. Traveling to new places.

Without that, my life would suck. I’d be bored all the time.

I love the picture at the top of this post because it really describes how I feel about life.

I want to experience ALL of it. Not some watered-down version.

I don’t want a half-assed life.

I want it to be spectacular.

Because at the end of the day, life’s way too short to not live fully.

To not throw all the paint you can on that canvas.

There are WAY too many people who spend their days doing nothing. People with no passion.

And it really makes me sad.

Because really, what’s life without passion?

Pretty lame, if you ask me.

So if I have to endure a few more panic attacks, that’s fine.

I’ll learn to deal with them.

I’ll be known as that crazy chick who’s got so much going on she can’t even keep her head on straight.

But at least I’ll have done something.

How to Not Be Utterly Depressed About the Fact that Summer’s Over

20 Aug

Today’s a very sad day for a lot of people.

Look around you…People are not thrilled about the fact that it’s Monday.

But it’s not just any Monday.

For most of us, school has started.

Summer’s over.

Therefore, this is the worst day ever.

Goodbye, days of sleeping in until 2pm.

Goodbye, days of going to the beach and passing out drunk in the sand.

Goodbye, days where the biggest source of frustration is that moment when your remote control runs out of battery and you have to get up, out of bed, to change the channel.

It’s all over.

All the good stuff‘s over.

Life sucks.

Now I honestly haven’t had a real summer in quite some time since I’ve been doing this thing called working and going to school and having no life. But I can still remember feeling anxious about the school year beginning, trying to cram as much awesomeness into those last days of freedom.

You see, with the end of summer, there always came this inexplicable sense of dread.

But you know what? I don’t feel that way anymore. I actually seem to think that the end of summer is quite wonderful.

There’s a sense of promise that the school year brings.

So much yet to be accomplished.  

So rather than crying about the fact that summer’s over,  how about you embrace the sense of hope that comes from the beginning of fall?

I mean, what do you hope to accomplish this year?

Think about it.

Buy yourself a planner. Set your goals.

Now’s the time to do so.

The great thing about the end of summer is that you get a new start.

Maybe you royally screwed up last year.

Maybe you ended up with a 1.75 GPA last semester.

Maybe you graduated high school ranked 300/301.

Maybe you’ve just been a jerk to people lately.

That’s okay.

Because now you get a chance to make things better.

This semester, actually study.

This semester, really go to the gym.

This year, work on not being an a-hole to people.

Spend this season working non-stop to reach your goals.

And your life will be better.

Yes, the summer was awesome.

But the fall will be too.

Make sure of it.

Hey Gen Y, It’s Time to Be Tenacious

8 Aug

So I have a new favorite word, guys…

It’s TENACITY.

It’s got a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

Tenacity (n.): The quality or state of being tenacious (Gee, thanks, Merriam-Webster dictionary, for nothing)

Tenacious (adj.): stubborn or persistent (Much better)

So why do I like this word so much? Why did I take the time to write a freaking post about just one single word?

BECAUSE IT’S IMPORTANT.

Now, more than ever, it’s important for us to be tenacious.

As members of Gen Y, as Millennials, as young professionals, too many people will doubt us.

Too many people will want us to fail.

Too many people will tell us that we can’t.

But you know what?

We can accomplish so much if we’re stubborn.

We can accomplish so much if we’re persistent.

And really…

I’m sure you do too.

So don’t give up.

And don’t listen to people who shoot down your dreams.

We have the ability to make a difference. We have the ability to do amazing things.

So let’s do them.

Let’s be tenacious, and prove everyone wrong.

And when things don’t go exactly as planned, just remember…

We Really Have No Reason To Be Unhappy

24 Jul

This weekend  kind of sucked.

First of all, we had that crazy idiot who did what he did in Aurora.

This really put things into perspective for me.

Secondly, I was in a car accident. 

Again, this really put things into perspective for me.

Upon entering the workforce, I’ve witnessed a lot of things, both good and bad.

But the one thing that’s been most noticible during my experience with the “real world” is that people are generally unhappy.

People are unhappy about something and/or everything.

ALL.

OF.

THE.

TIME.

This is unfortunate and it’s stupid.

Through my research regarding Generation Y, I’ve been able to find plenty of articles that explain that my generation is the most unhappy of all. During a time in which we’re trying to discover ourselves, we’re faced with so many decisions that need to be made and we don’t know how to make them.

This makes us sad.

This makes us depressed.

Then we’ve got all the other generations…

It seems that at work, complaining about stuff  is the cool thing to do.

“I can’t believe I wasn’t invited to that meeting”

“I hate my boss”

“Jack didn’t cc me on that e-mail. How dare he?”

Really, guys?

If these are the worst of our worries, I think we’re doing okay.

Let’s stop sweating the small stuff, alright?

I think that’ll make the world a much more pleasant place to live in and it shouldn’t take a tradgedy or a near-death experience to realize this.

We should feel grateful for what we have, every day.

So next time you’re unhappy and you’re discussing one of the following:

  1.  how your life is terrible
  2.  how you want to punch your boss in the face
  3.  how your life is over and you have no reason to live

Stop and think for a second.

Then kick yourself for being so dumb.

If you’re reading this, CONGRATULATIONS!

You’re alive and you have eyeballs!

And that, my friends, is enough reason to be happy.

Just Be Nice. It Goes A Long Way.

25 Jun

 

It amazes me, really, how rude some people can be.

I mean, come on…I know it’s Monday and that most people don’t want to be at work but still…that’s no excuse for being mean to people.

I walk through the hallways and say good morning to everyone, always. And you know what? MAYBE 5 out of every 10 people acknowledge my presence. Like really?

Not. Cool.

And then out of those 5 that DON’T flat out ignore me, maybe 3 of them look at me as if I had told them I was going to stab them (which I’m not, obviously).

Dude, I just said good morning.

I just said hi.

I’m just being nice.

But we’re not used to that.

It seems to me that when it comes to work, people fail to remember how important it is to be nice to others. I know we all have deadlines. I know we’re all struggling with budgets. I know that we’re all working our tails off to get that next promotion so we can feel important.

But stop for a second and think about this…

If you’re mean, you’re not going to get very far. I mean, you can only pretend to be nice for a little while. Eventually, something will happen and you won’t be able to fake it anymore.

If you’re rude, if you’re a jerk, people will know.

And you know what? People tend to talk about their negative experiences a lot more often than they talk about their positive experiences.

So if you suck, people are going to talk about how much you suck, ALOT.

I know we’re at work, but work doesn’t have to be this constant battlefield of backstabbing and gossip and rude behavior.

It’s not worth it.

Go to work. Be nice to people. Make a difference.

It’s not that difficult.

Stop Worrying, It’s A Waste

11 Jun

I’m a terrible driver. I could lie and say that I have AMAZING driving skills but I won’t. Instead, I’m telling you straight up—I’m awful.

So for that reason I was on the verge of a panic attack two days ago driving to my boyfriend’s house because there was a HUGE FREAKING STORM.

I mean really, I couldn’t see anything. AT ALL. It was pretty scary. To make matters worse, I was hungry so I needed to get food on the way home unless I wanted to starve and die.

But I didn’t have an umbrella.

So the entire time that I was driving, I was worried. I was trying to logistically coordinate how get food without getting a pneumonia. Pneumonias are not fun.

But I was so busy trying to figure this out that I failed to realize one minor detail…

It wasn’t raining anymore.

The storm had passed and it was incredibly sunny.

As soon as I realized this, I started laughing by myself like a complete idiot.

Here I was stressing out about something that was no longer an issue. And you know what? I think this happens a whole lot.

I think a lot of times we worry about things in the future and more often than not, it’s a complete waste of time.

Why?

Because we don’t know what the weather’s going to be like five minutes from now. One minute it’s stormy. The next, it’s sunny. So what’s the use of worrying?

Stop stressing so much about the future. Focus instead on the present. What’s going on in your life RIGHT NOW that has you worried? The stuff that’s going on RIGHT NOW, that’s really all you have control over anyway.

And like the picture at the top of this post says…if there’s stuff that you CAN solve, then there’s no reason to worry. Stop worrying and

And if there’s other stuff that you CAN’T fix, that you CAN’T solve, that you CAN’T do anything about, then why waste your time worrying?

Instead of worrying, set a new goal. Join a club. Discover a new passion. Learn a new language. Go be nice to someone. Read a book.

Because at least those things are productive.

In an environment that’s constantly changing, the best that we can do is to learn to adapt. Learn to be flexible. Learn to embrace change. Worrying about the future isn’t a good use of our time because we don’t know what it’ll be like. The only thing that we do know, is that things will be different. Things will change, they always do.

So rather than strategically planning every aspect of your life and worrying about things you’re not even sure of, spend more time enjoying the present and being open to change. That’ll make your life a lot less stressful.

%d bloggers like this: