4 Signs You’re Not Leadership Material

23 Mar

leadership material

I don’t know who came up with this extremely popular notion of promoting employees into leadership positions based on tenure, but to whoever’s responsible..stupid idea, bro.

The truth of the matter is this…

NOT EVERYONE’S LEADERSHIP MATERIAL…

And that’s okay!

Just because you’re a genius in your field…

Just because you’ve been at your job for twenty-some odd years…

It doesn’t mean you have to have direct reports. 

It takes really particular skills to be a manager.

Heck- it takes a whole lot of patience too.

And for that reason, throughout my career I’ve been absolutely dumfounded when I’ve seen some not-so-leadership-material employees placed in managerial positions.

Let me say it again.

IT’S NOT FOR EVERYONE!

And like I said…that’s okay.

You can still be a genius.

You can still be kick-ass at your job.

But if you’re not leadership material, please, for God’s sake…don’t make other people suffer. 

Now some of you may be wondering whether or not you’re leadership material.

(But really…those of you who aren’t…you probably already know that.)

Just in case though…to clarify this for everyone…here are 4 Signs that You’re Not Leadership Material.

1. You Have Zero Social Skills/You Hate People

People say hi to you and you stare at them, but you don’t say hi back. You don’t hold doors open for people 5 centimeters behind you. You know…basic courtesy kind of stuff.

If you’re the kind of person who avoids social situations at all costs and really doesn’t want to be troubled with interpersonal relationships, then that’s fine…but you have no business managing others. This is pretty self-explanitory.

2. You Don’t Like It When People Ask You Questions

Questions annoy you. When people ask you dumb questions that you think they ought to know the answers to, you think they’re stupid…you think that they are mentally challenged. Every time that someone asks you a question, you feel that they’re taking time away from you doing your own work. Open door policy? Forget that! Locked door policy is what you’d implement…peace and quiet is what you need.

Good managers want their employees to feel comfortable coming to them whenever they have questions. And the reality is, good employees do ask a lot of questions. Managers need to accept that part of their job is helping out their direct reports, and they shouldn’t make them feel bad about seeking that support.

3. You Couldn’t Care Less if Your Team is Motivated/Inspired

You’re sure as hell no cheerleader. You don’t think it’s your job to motivate those around you. You’re here to get a job done and everyone should be on the same page as you.

FALSE. Managers need to be cheerleaders. If it’s not written in the job description, someone’s lying to you. If you want your team to work well and to perform to the best of its ability, you’ll need to take out those metaphorical pom-poms at times and inspire your people. Because let’s face it, there are times at any job when morale is low. And when morale is low, not a whole lot of work gets done. Teams that get out of that slump are the teams who have great leaders, and believe me, they’re super grateful for that. Look into it…they call it transformational leadership. 

4. You Want to Punch Positive People in the Face

You hate it when people smile. You hate it when you come to work Monday morning and people are actually happy. What the heck is wrong with them? They ought to be a bit less peppy.

If you’re a negative Nancy, you have no business managing others. You need to be a positive influence, and people need to actually enjoy being around you. Do you have to do backflips everyday and sing songs? No. But you should strive to be a positive role model for others and part of that means helping others see the bright side of things regardless of how bad any work situation is.

***Now it’s your turn…what else makes someone not leadership material?

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Happy (Late) International Women’s Day To Our Stay At Home Moms

9 Mar

In honor of National Women’s Day, I was planning on finding a super-empowering TedTalk from some super fabulous woman CEO sharing her story about how she became so awesome.

And I’ll maybe probably still do that, but today, I’m gunna do something a little different.

When you think about International Women’s Day, you think about that female CEO who’s broken through the glass ceiling and now making loads of money.

And to those women… you’re doing awesome. Hopefully I’ll get there someday… if that’s what I want.

But what you don’t think much about are the women who aren’t in an office…

The women who instead of being dressed in kick ass power suits, are likely covered in baby throw up right now.

Mommas.

Stay at home mommas.

They’re often forgotten about when we’re talking about the empowerment of women.

And really, they shouldn’t be.

Because their jobs are just as hard- if not harder.

I was with a baby this weekend. I held it and it threw up on me. And it smelled bad. And I returned the baby to her owner. To her mom. And her parents talked to me about all the gross disgusting things their baby does and how they have to change diapers 54 times a day and wash the baby with a hose because her poop travels out of her diaper.

OUT OF HER DIAPER!

So today, instead of talking about the female executives that I admire, I’m going to do this…

THANK YOU MOMMA BEAR.

Because you stayed home with me my whole life and you dealt with my tantrums and you cleaned my butt and you fed me nasty food that I’m sure I threw up several times.

Thank you because you took me to every single one of my gymnastics and cheerleading and dance practices.

Thank you because you were on every single field trip and I know that most of them must have been super boring but you went anyway because I asked you to.

Thank you because you didn’t send me to summer camp. Because there was nothing that I wanted more than to just stay home with you and my sister every summer. I didn’t want to have to go be social with weird kids that I didn’t know. Even though you threatened us that one year and physically took us there and we sat in the car in the parking lot and we cried, thanks for feeling sorry enough for us that you just turned around and went back home.

You’re kind of awesome.

So for all the mommas out there who think they need a corner office and a power suit to be appreciated, I promise you, you don’t.

You stay at home mommas do so much more than you know.

And I think it’s time that you’re recognized just as much as a CEO.

Because hell, you run a family.

And God knows that’s not easy.

Stay at home mom

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Yea, This #AskHerMore Campaign is Pretty Freaking Awesome

23 Feb

ask her more

Last night I learned about the #Askhermore campaign, and as a young professional woman, I have to say that I couldn’t be happier about it. It freaking rocks.

So for those of you who are sitting there like, “what the heck is this #askhermore thing”… open up a new tab on your computer, google #askhermore, and then come back and finish reading this.

Okay, so why is this important? I think it’s pretty obvious. The #askhermore campaign is a movement that’s meant to raise awareness and to cause reporters to ask not-so-fashion-related questions on the RedCarpet. Instead of just commenting on the jewlery that’s being worn and the designer gowns, this social media campaign is asking that we place more emphasis on the amazing work that these actresses are doing.

Now sure, I’m the first one to say that I love fashion. I like pretty things. But do I think that the talent these women possess should have to be overshadowed by society’s interest in their ability to pick out a pretty outfit?

Not so much.

Us women are so much more than our outfit-coordinating skills. We’re smart. We’re powerful. We have tons to offer. And it’s a shame really that when we enter the workforce, we’re often looked at…up and down, the general perception being that a negative correlation exists between our intelligence and the height of our heels.

If we dress well, we can’t possibly be smart. If we’re fashionable, we’re obviously just trying to impress the men.

That’s really typically the general perception, and I’m telling you…it’s bullshit.

I’ve dealt with it before. I’m quite confident I’ll deal with it all my life. But I can promise you that I’ll fight it every step of the way.

Like the story I’ve told before about my college professor. Why is it that if I have nice legs I can’t be taken seriously?

So let’s start treating women like the well-rounded individuals that they are. Let’s ask women about the things that inspire them. Let’s ask them about their goals, their passions, their careers. Let’s ask them about the struggles they’ve overcome. Heck- ask them about the things that excite them. But don’t just ask them about their outfits. Let’s be a little more creative.

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5 Reasons Why This Twenty-Something LOVES Her New Job

6 Feb

Work Hard Have Fun No Drama I’ve been at my new job for 8 months now, and really… I can’t even begin to tell you how crazy-fast time has gone by. One minute I’m interviewing and BAM!!! Here I am almost a year into it. Taking this new job was a huge leap for me. For starters, I knew nothing about the industry. While most people being interviewed had years of experience doing the job at other companies… I. Had. Zero. But man was I willing to learn! People warned me. People told me the job would be terrible. People asked me if it was really something that I wanted to do. And although I didn’t know much, I knew that it was an exciting opportunity and that I needed a new challenge. 8 months later, I thank God every day that I made that jump. So to help explain exactly why I’m so happy, here are 5 reasons why THIS 20-something LOVES her new job…

  1. I’m Surrounded By People Who Are Willing to Teach Me

Like I said, I was a newbie. I accepted a job as a Contract Administrator in a large Supply Chain department and I didn’t even know what a backorder was. This could have been a total failure. But it wasn’t. And you know why? Because the people around me are really freaking awesome. Because from the minute I stepped foot in this department, my co-workers took me under their wings and they taught me everything they know. Because they were secure enough in their own abilities and talents that they didn’t feel threatened by the thought of sharing what they’ve learned over the years. And I’m eternally grateful for that.

  1. We’re Treated Like Adults

Imagine a workplace where you can go to the bathroom without your boss staring at his computer counting the number of minutes that you’re away from your desk. Imagine a workplace where you can go to work and if you need to leave to a doctor’s appointment or to pick up your sick kid, you can do that and no one gives you a hard time about it. We can do that here. After a really hectic morning we can go have a nice lunch off campus, come back to work, and we’re not looked down upon for taking a break. It’s kind of awesome. We’re treated like adults. And you might be thinking well yea, we should be treated like adults since that’s what we ARE, but you’d be surprised how absolutely rare this kind of work environment is. We’re treated like professionals and even though we may not be at our desks glued to our chairs every moment of every day, everyone knows that we’ll get the job done. We always do.

  1. Our Work/Play Balance is all Sorts of Fantastic

You can go to work, work super hard, and have fun doing it. It’s true, I promise! And although I’ve questioned this notion in the past, I swear on my life I’ve never had so much fun at work. And you might think okay… she’s a contract administrator…sounds kinda super lame and boring. But dude, we laugh and we joke and we have so much fun. And the best part about it is that even though we laugh and we have a good time, we’re still taken seriously because we produce excellent work. I don’t think you have to be miserable and serious all the time to be considered a professional. I think that you can work and play and play while you work. Because really, if you don’t, it’s so easy to go crazy.

  1. My Bosses Are Approachable, Nice Human Beings

It’s not something that I take for granted. My bosses are really one of a kind. They’re legit humans. Like… super- down- to -earth –real- people- who- have- feelings- and- know- that- I –have- feelings –and- so- they’re- nice- and- not- mean-and- they- don’t- scream- at- me- and- belittle- me- and- make- me- feel- like- I’m- stupid. In a nutshell. Do they do their jobs? Yes! Really well, in fact. Do they tell me when I’ve made a mistake and help me fix it? Yep. Do they provide guidance? All the time. But do they have huge egos? No. Do they walk around thinking they’re better than anyone? No. Do they scream and yell and embarrass their employees? Never. And that’s why I love working for them. They have an open door policy and we can talk to them about anything whenever we need to and we’re not scared of them, because they’re super cool. I mean, on what planet should we have to be scared of our bosses? How does that make us perform better? If you figure that out, let me know. But in the meantime, I’ll stick to working for bosses who really know how to lead.

  1. They Took A Chance on Me

I’m like 500% positive that there are people who would have never hired me for this position. There are managers who would have taken one look at my resume and would have thrown it in the trash simply because I didn’t have experience in this field. But my leadership took a chance on me. They decided that I had potential and that I could be taught, and so they were willing to invest in me. They were willing to give me a shot and by giving me that shot, I feel the need to prove to them every day that they made the right decision. I respect them so much for that, and I feel so lucky every day to be a part of this kick-ass team. Other stuff you might like:

Our Very Busy Lives

11 Jan

cbb6c08fc2b5c3d0025fb48d2863ae51

Yes, I’m still alive!

If I think about it, I’m more alive than I’ve been in quite some time, actually.

But things are a little different these days.

For starters, I’m getting married. And yes, as exciting as it is, there’s only so much talk of flowers and dresses and tablecloths that I can deal with at any given moment.

My brain is fried, honestly.

My energy level = zero.

I’m also 6 months into my new job that I love. It’s crazy and chaotic and there are times when no one knows what they’re doing, but hey, it’s so worth it! I have a pretty kick-ass team that I love working and laughing with and really- what more could I ask for?

So yea, life’s been good to me…

I’m eternally grateful for it.

But my lack of writing during this phase of severe change in my life has finally gotten to me.

And I suddenly feel the need to put down words on paper.

I hate that I’ve been neglecting something that I’m so passionate about.

And I don’t want to feel that way anymore.

So here I am, getting back to something that I love.

And is it absolutely terrifying?

Hell yea it is.

Because it’s been way too long.

But I’m gunna put my fear and my insecurity aside, and I’m gunna get back to it.

You gotta start somewhere, right?

It’s a new year, and I’ve run out of excuses.

So for all of you who’ve maybe been neglecting a hobby that you’ve at one point enjoyed…

Or for those of you who’ve been saying that you want to try something new and you just haven’t gotten around to it…

Get up off the couch, and go do it.

We’re all busy.

We all have points of craziness in our lives.

Babies.

Weddings.

Groceries that need to be bought.

We really could make a list of excuses that goes on and on and on.

And we could tell ourselves… “Oh, I’ll get to it when I’m a little less busy.”

Once the baby’s born.

Once my classes are over.

Once the wedding’s all planned.

But here’s a secret….

We’re always gunna be freakin’ busy.

ALWAYS.

If it’s not one thing stopping you, it’s something else.

Because that’s life.

Life is busy.

Life becomes busy, and it never stops.

There will always be things that need to be done, people that you need to see, events that you need to go to.

But that’s no reason for you to give up on things that you’re passionate about.

We make time for the things that matter most to us.

So don’t put them off.

Pencil them in to your ever-growing schedule.

Because if you don’t, you’ll find yourself six months later wondering how and why it’s been so long since you’ve done that thing you love to do.

And then, you’ll want to kick yourself for it.

Happy New Year everyone! I wish you all the very best!

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My Crazy, Chaotic, Twentysomething Life

16 Jul
My life right now.

My life right now.

I’ve been anxious all day.

And if I’m honest with myself, I’ve really been anxious for a couple of weeks now. 

And it’s not because I’m crazy…

It’s because every day, in the back of my mind, I keep telling myself, “hey lady! you have to write! you’ve abandoned your blog for a while.” 

And ughhh…I hate it when it gets to that point. 

But I promise you, it’s for good reason. There’s a lot going on in my life right now. 

I started a new job a month ago and I’m really loving it, which means that if I want to learn as much as I can so I can be awesome, it requires a lot of my time. 

So don’t think that I’m just dropping off the face of the earth just yet! 

I’m just having a crazy chaotic moment- and we all have those. 

But I have had the opportunity to write for Elite Daily recently, so if you’re interested, head on over to read my articles! 

What It Was Like to Break the Rules of My Catholic Family and Move in With My Boyfriend

This was a pretty personal post, but it was a story that I really wanted to share. Us twentysomethings feel a tremendous amount of pressure all the time from family, friends, the media, and sometimes, you just have to do what feels right for you. I chose an unconventional path, but there’s not one second I regret it. 

Why You Can’t (and Shouldn’t) Try to Escape From Your 20-Something Life

Another post on the overwhelming nature of our twenties, and how we really ought to embrace the hard times rather than just quitting. 

Enjoy! 

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Four Ways Millennials Can Be Happier Right This Minute

23 Jun

happy-happiness-millennials

So tell me, are you happy?

Like, honestly… happy?

Do you even know what happiness is, really?

Or are you like most of us… stressed out all the time?

Do you spend hours in your room crying because life isn’t working out the way you thought it would?

Because if the answer is yes, I’m going to tell you right now…you gotta stop doing that.

Our twenties are a mess.

A legit freaking mess.

We’re constantly stressed out and confused and don’t really know what to do with our lives.

Then, the real-world welcomes us with an even bigger slap in the face.

We’re suddenly wearing five different hats…

We’re suddenly juggling 700,000 responsibilities at once…

Of course, it’s stressful.

And it sucks.

Big time.

Mostly because we’ve been taught our whole lives that things are supposed to get better as time goes by.

Not worse.

The older we get… the happier we become. So we’ve been told.

Because, you know… when we get older, we graduate college and we get awesome jobs and we get married and we have the cutest kids and everything is wonderful.

That’s the story we’ve told since before we can remember.

But the truth is this…

We don’t just somehow get happier.

We don’t just wake up one day and feel happier.

It doesn’t happen like that.

Happiness isn’t a given.

It takes work.

It takes time.

And most importantly, it takes some serious self-reflection.

So in the meantime, while you’re figuring out what makes you happy and what doesn’t, here are a few things we can all do to make our lives a little bit better…

To make things a little more bearable…

Because we really can be happier.

Right. This. Very. Minute.

And I refuse to accept anything other than that.

1. Stop living in the future  

Today isn’t tomorrow. Today isn’t five years from now. Today is today, so enjoy it. Sure, we should all have dreams, but we need to make an effort to stop living our lives completely in the future. We spend so much time thinking about and planning for the future that we often miss out on so much of the present. Focus on what’s in front of you. It’ll be gone before you know it.

2. Stop buying so much stuff

Money lets you buy things. And sure, things are great. But you know what’s even better? People. Relationships. Experiences. Stop spending so much money on things that’ll end up in the trash next year. You know you don’t need half the things you have in your closet. Instead, save money. Give yourself that peace of mind. Instead, use that money to visit your family. Use that money to travel. But infinite amounts of clothes and shoes and electronics? Such a waste.

3. Stop seeking everyone’s approval

You can’t get everyone to like you. There. End of story. Now stop trying to please everyone. Do things for yourself. I promise you, it’s probably the best thing you can do right now if you ever want to live a happy life.

4. Stop second guessing yourself all the time

Ugh. Should I? Shouldn’t I? But… what if…all these questions ultimately lead to inaction. Listen to your gut. Learn to trust your intuition. If you want to do something, do it. Because if you second guess every move you want to make, you’ll never go anywhere, and how absolutely lame would that be?

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3 Ways to Make Peace with a Job You’re Planning on Leaving

3 Jun

leave-your-job

Ready to leave your current job for your next big adventure?? Most of us have been there. But before you get up from your desk, march into your boss’ office, and throw your two weeks notice on her desk, it’s good to stop and reflect a little.

Today, Alison shares with us 3 ways to make peace with a job you’re pretty much done with…but they’re smart and strategic, and will likely set you up for even greater success in the future. Enjoy and let us know what you think!

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For many people there’s an uncomfortable space between realizing a job isn’t a great fit and landing that next big thing.  If this happens to you really have two main options.  You can spend your remaining weeks or months at your current job unhappily biding your time, or you can choose to make peace with this ‘in between’ time and use it to your advantage.

Here are three ideas that will help you cope with being in a job that you’re planning on leaving.

1) Connect to Your Why

The bigger picture reasons for sticking around at a job may slip your mind in the middle of a tedious meeting or a hectic commute, but there are plenty of tangible and intangible benefits to employment.  These include a paycheck, health and retirement benefits, references, continuity on your resume, connections to coworkers, and a place to go each day.  Which of these matters most to you?  

Dig deeper here for the most impact.  For example, what do your earnings help you pay for?  How many relationships are present in your life because of your work?  How much more selective can you be with your next employment choice because you aren’t feeling desperate?  By connecting to your why, you’ll have a touchstone you can lean on during those moments when you’re at the end of your patience.

2) Hone in On Your Fundamentals

People sometimes pick up unhelpful habits in an attempt to compensate for a less than ideal 9 to 5 experience.  Maybe you’re staying up late watching tv or grabbing one too many snacks to make it through your day.  See if you can make some small improvements to your schedule in your current situation to set yourself up for future success.

After all, your daily routines and habits will follow you into any job.  Consider what needs to be in place for you to have a great work week.  This could be as simple as developing the habit of laying out your clothes for the next day at night or making sure to get up and walk around at lunchtime.  Put a little extra effort into improving your fundamental habits now in preparation for your next career opportunity.

3) Keep Making Small Exit Strategy Efforts

Hopefully the first two ideas will help to improve your mindset and your day to day experience, but they aren’t likely to change the fact that you’re ready to move on.  Honor this desire by taking small, persistent actions to help you find your next opportunity.  

Since job searching can involve a lot of ups and downs, waiting, and uncertainty, you’ll want to keep your focus on the steps of the job search process that are within your control.  For example, you can affect the time you put towards networking, even if you don’t have command of when that networking will pay off.  By taking a proactive stance on developing your exit strategy you’ll be able to remind yourself of the fact that your current job won’t last forever.

The in-between period of being at a job you know you’ll be leaving can be a tricky space to maneuver.  Remind yourself of why you’re sticking around, improve your day to day experience, and keep working on your job search efforts.  Overall, hang in there, and be sure to continue to show up at your current job as best you can so that you’ll be able to leave on a good note. 

Alison Elissa Cardy is a professional career coach who specializes in helping men and women around the world figure out their career direction.  For more tips on improving your workweek join Alison’s upcoming Energize Your Workweek Challenge.  This challenge is a free weeklong event featuring 8 experts’ best ideas on how to have a better Monday through Friday. Sign up today!

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Please Stop Asking Me Where I See Myself in 5 Years

21 May

passionately-curious-goal-setting

I really do hate it.

“The” question…

Where do you see yourself in five years?

Apparently, everyone wants to know.

Have a job interview??? I can almost bet my left hand that someone will ask you.

Go to a networking event??? It’s more than likely.

I’ve been hit with this question more times than I can count.

And every time, I’m sure that I’ve disappointed the person asking with my answer.

Because here’s my answer…

I have no idea.

Now before you start thinking that I lack ambition, understand that I’ve read tons about why goal setting is good. I’ve also read about why goal setting is bad.

I get both sides of the arguement.

But when it comes to where I see myself in 5 years, my answer’s still the same.

I have no idea.

I never grew up wanting to be something specific. I never grew up wanting to be a doctor or a nurse or an astronaut or an engineer.

I don’t know why, exactly, but I just didn’t.

The only thing I DID know was that whatever it was that I ended up chossing as a profession…I wanted to like it.

I wanted to be good at it, and I wanted to enjoy it.

So where do I see myself in 5 years?

I can’t tell you exactly what job I see myself holding, but I CAN tell you that I see myself working at a job that I love. Working somewhere that allows me to use my talents appropriately. One that lets me bring the best of myself to the table, and one that lets me use that to help other people.

When it comes to my career, I guess I’ve chosen a less-than-conventional path. Rather than focusing on one specific discipline, I think that there are lots of jobs that I could be good at and happy with.

I don’t have ONE specific dream job. I don’t have ONE specific job that I aspire to have one day- one that if I never get, I’ll be devastated.

That’s just me.

And while some people may think that makes me unfocused, I like to think that it makes me more flexible.

And in today’s super-unstable job market, that’s probably not such a bad thing.

It’s just kind of funny, really, becuase it seems that people expect us to have it all figured out by the time we graduate college.

graduation-geny-millennials

Yep! We did it!

By then, OBVIOUSLY, we should know what our dream job will be. We should know where we want to be in 5…10…15 years.

And again, if you don’t, some people think you lack focus.

But the truth of it all is that some people NEVER figure that out. People spend their entire lives figuring out what they like…what they don’t like…what they’re passionate about.

It’s a process of trial and error.

So if you’re like me and don’t know exactly where you’ll be 5 years from now, don’t worry, you’ll figure it out as you go.

Just make sure to enjoy the ride.

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Yes, Failure is an Option

15 May

Last night, I was sitting on my couch stuffing my face with strawberries and Nutella when I came across this Domino’s commercial…

And you know what?

I loved it.

Because it was probably the most refreshing thing I’ve seen in a really long time.

Now I know you’re probably thinking, “what the heck is so awesome about a pizza commercial??”

Thing is… it wasn’t about the pizza.

It was about the company, and its culture.

A company that’s okay with admitting that it’s not perfect.

A company that’s okay with accepting failure.

A company that’s willing to learn from that failure and then makes changes.

I don’t know…maybe I’m crazy, but I really liked their honesty.

Because that honesty is really hard to come by these days.

True. Story.

It seems that organizations spend way too much time trying to be the best…trying to be perfect.

AKA… no failure allowed.

So when failure does naturally happen at some point or another, corporate execs spend more time pointing fingers than on actually learning from that failure and continuing to make progress.

I guess that’s why I like this commercial so much.

Because if more companies embraced a culture that’s okay with failure…that sees the value in learning from things that don’t necessarily work out…maybe employees would go out on a limb more often.

Maybe there’d be more innovation.

Maybe we’d actually find solutions to most of our problems.

But we don’t, because we’re scared.

We don’t because, again… most organizations punish people who venture from the norm and then fail.

That’s not cool, and quite frankly, we’re not gunna get anywhere in life with an attitude like that.

So props to you, Domino’s, for being smart enough to say, “hey, we’re not perfect…and we’re fine with that.”

That’s the kind of company I’d like to work for one day…

One that’s not putting on a front.

One that’s honest and sincere.

One that’s accepted that not only is failure an option, but failure is necessary in order to experience growth.

Way to go, Domino’s. You’ve got my attention.

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